How politics work- funny edition
While I am not very into politics, no person are untouched by it as we are surrounded. This is my version of how politics work. Enjoy!
How politics work
Politics are as old as the Bible I think. You just cannot escape it. Everywhere around us, we are surrounded by politics
Politicians are people who are mostly dressed in blue suits and ties and short hair. Women politicians wear high heels and dresses just above the knees. Politicians visit poor communities and feed the hungry poor children while looking straight into the camera. The next day they are on the front page of newspapers where their good deeds are splashed for everyone to see. They also like to go to church and walk hand in hand with their spouses as if their lives depend on it. Hand holding are very important when you are a politician.
These suit men likes to talk a lot and they make lots of promises to the communities. They make desperate pleas to the nation to save water and electricity and to take care of the planet and to budget and pay taxes while they live in mansions, have private planes, tons of burning lights and go to Africa to kill canned lions and other wild animals – not for food but to put the dead animals heads on their walls as trophy’s. Politicians love the sound of their own voices
Politics are a popularity contest. Think about the popular girls and boys in school. The more popular you are the better your chance to become Head prefect or in this case President of your country. Politicians choose something they know the community need or want and speak all the right words to appeal to the masses. They know how to work a crowd so to speak.
Politicians just love social media and use it to dish dirt on their opponents, highlight their campaigns and raise their popularity.
They work very hard during the elections and plea with the poor to vote. They even hand out food parcels and free transport to voting stations. The Politicians are very friendly and caring on voting day.
This is a place where all the politicians from the different political parties gather to scream bad things to one another, get money to buy flashy cars, designer wine and champagne and entertain famous people. In parliament there are a person who calls Order please whenever someone screams too much or say things they don’t like. They also vote on laws.
Congratulations is in order when you are named President of your country. A lavish party that cost millions are held in your honor and you get to wear designer outfits and dance the first dance. Your job is to wear a suit all day long, sign papers, drink tea with foreign leaders even though you don’t understand each other, start wars, have a chauffeur that drives you around, and get filmed where you open a new hospital.
You tell the people that they matter most, smile and wave. You then take your spouses hand and get into an armored vehicle. Whenever something mad happens, you create a commission of Investigation and promise change. When your presidency are over, you write a book and go on vacations, start a charity and live in a house with high fences.
Disclaimer: I hope you enjoyed my version of how politics work. I am not a political person nor do I claim to be an expert. I’m just an observer of the world of politics. Want to know about politics in South Africa?