Making peace with the past

Making peace with the past

Making peace with the past is a painful thing to do however it is necessary to do for us to heal from the inside out. It is tempting to put everything in the back of the head and pretend it never happened. Unfortunately the longer we take to deal with the past – the longer it takes to heal and move on to a better more fulfilled life.

My story

I too had to take this painful step. Both my Father as well as my husband died young. So I grew up in a single parent family and so did my children when my husband past away. His death also made me a single parent. The pain, hurt and loss of being a single parent and growing up in a single parent family left deep scars. I also went through a horrible time with a troubled child in my house. In 2011 I became extremely ill and was diagnosed with Achalasia – a swallowing disorder. My illness forced me to slow down and to take stock of my life.

Making peace with the past

The only way to heal and move forward was to unpack the past and deal with everything. I could no longer hide behind the pile of past rubbish. So I decided to work through Self Matters by Dr. Phil as well as Who moved my cheese written by Spencer Johnson. Self Matters took me 5 months as I did all the questionnaires, assignments. It was at times almost unbearable to go back and deal with everything however I stood tall and did all the hard and very lonely work. The results was astounding. The next three years I would check in with myself to make sure that I do not slip back. Who moved my cheese completed my healing as it helped me to cope and guide the change in my life.

Ten years later

Looking back the only regrets I have is that I didn’t do it earlier. Making peace with the past released me from guilt feelings, mistakes, lost opportunities and more. My life is so much better now although some relationships fell apart while others got hurt. Not everybody supported me on my journey – maybe they felt threatened with the new me. I cannot however go back and be miserable again so that others can feel better.

A better more meaningful life is worth it.

Amanda Spies du Plessis is the writer and owner of Let’s make tea
as well as the Afrikaans website Amandaskrywer.
Send an e-mail to amandadups(@)gmail.com or go to the contact page and leave a message.

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