Self Matters Book review

Dr Phil McGraw teach you how to Create your life from the inside out

*You have got to decide, look, this is who I am; this is my best way to present myself, and I’m going to ride that horse to the finish line. Not everybody will like it, but that’s OK. – Phil McGraw

psychologist talking to client dr Phil McGraw

REVIEW

(Disclaimer – this is a personal independent review of the above book by me. I am not a Psychologist nor do I claim to be.)

Why this book by Dr. Phil McGraw?

First of all, I bought this book many years ago but only started to read it in 2011 when I was feeling lost, without purpose, stuck in the past and therefore living an inauthentic life and as a result not knowing how to move forward

About the book:

Self matters was written by Dr. Phil and published in 2001. The book is in paperback and consist of 336 pages and falls under Self help.

Extra:

Self matters companion – a workbook that offers exercises. I did not buy the workbook as it was not available at the time.

How long did it take me to work through the book?

I started the book in 2010, then fell ill in 2011 had emergency surgery and therefore picked the book up again. Above all, I was so desperate to regain my life that I made the decision that I would work through the book word by word and therefore I would do every single exercise in it.

I finished Chapter 3 and was very happy with my progress when I was hospitalized again in 2012 and another 3 times in a row and spend 12 days in ICU in 2014.

While I was home bound in my home, I picked up the book again and started from Chapter 1. This time it took me 7 months (2015) to finish the book up to the last page where Dr. Phil waves you good bye and good luck with the words: See you in the sunlight.

Success at last! Finally

Did I complete every single exercise and read every word?

You bet I did. Some of the exercises takes you back to very hurtful and emotional times in your life which drained me and then I had to take a week or two off to do something else and regain my strength. (while participating in the real life with all it’s facets)

My overall view of this book by
Dr Phil McGraw

The book is written in easy to read and understandable English and that really surprised me. English is not my first language so that was very positive to me.

The exercises seems overwhelming at first but when you start doing it, you learn so much about yourself and why you do certain things. It takes you back to when your life started,the things that happened (defining moments) the (critical) choices and decisions you made, the people who influenced you (pivotal people)

Learn about yourself

You also learn why you do the things you do (locus of control) and how to change your habits (taking inventory). You also learn about the labels that were given to you and how you got them.

Dr, Phil McGraw leads and teach you how to change your inner talk and believes about yourself and you then find out that all is not lost.

You are in control of your life – don’t give your power away.

It almost feels like you are stripped of the old you and given a new key to a new life.

hobo with dirty clothes dr phil mcgraw

Have my life changed after completing the book?

Yes, yes, yes. Before I read this book, I believed this is the life I was given and I must just accept it. Three years after completing the book I keep myself on track by checking in with myself.

Noteworthy: I go through my Self matters notes every January and keep track with my progress every week in my Bullet journal with every 3 months an in dept consultation with myself.

I finished the book

The day I finished the book, I felt a bit anxious because that is when the hard work starts and you are then on your own. It is a day to day work in progress.
Above all the thing that drives me is that I certainly never ever want to go back to where I was.

How are you doing now?

It does happen every now and then that I fall back on past bad “habits” but I do not beat myself up about it. I just pick myself up and furthermore, it really helps to keep track of my progress. It’s a lot like a alcoholic or drug addict who have to constantly be aware of the pitfalls and triggers.

Is the change in you visible to others and how did they react to it?

Yes it is visible to others because you are now authentic and while I didn’t go out blowing whistles and beating drums to show of the new me, some people think I’m just having a midlife crisis or that I’m in a new temporary phase of my life. I also lost 2 so called friends when they could no longer influence and control me.

Would I recommend this book
to others?

Oh yes BUT most noteworthy, you have to read the whole book and do every single exercise truthfully

If you want more, you have to require more from yourself. – Dr Phil McGraw

You can also read my post on Dealing with nosy people and Living with an illness and read more about Dr. Phil

See you in the sunlight with your face to the sky!

3 Comments

  1. Take off the band aid - Let"s make tea with Amanda

    October 20, 2019 at 8:13 am

    […] Phil wrote a wonderful book of the pain we carry with us in Self Matters. I also wrote a piece on the Pain of rejection which you will most likely like to […]

  2. Leer ken en verstaan die mens in die spieël - Amanda

    November 27, 2019 at 6:49 am

    […] was verswak en kon skaars beweeg so ek het die herstel tyd gebruik om te lees. Ek het Dr. Phil se Self Matters asook Life Strategies deurgewerk. My kinders was volwasse en besig met hulle eie lewens. Ek het dus […]

  3. Die mens in die spieël - leer ken en verstaan jouself

    February 14, 2021 at 4:09 pm

    […] was verswak en kon skaars beweeg so ek het die herstel tyd gebruik om te lees. Ek het Dr. Phil se Self Matters asook Life Strategies deurgewerk. My kinders was volwasse en besig met hulle eie lewens. Ek het dus […]

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